FIVE THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

So Mr TC of Modal Minority passed me this this meme, and I drivel on so much about myself that I'm really not sure, but I don't think I've ever mentioned that:

1) When I was three, I swallowed a large yellow plastic signet ring out of a Christmas cracker. It lodged in the top of my windpipe, or felt as though it had. I can still remember the sensation of gasping and heaving for breath. My mother rushed me to a doctor's surgery up the road, where a blond angel put a firm hand on my diaphragm and got me to stop panicking, and it went down (and eventually out).

2) My junior school was selected to pilot the teaching of French to nine- and ten-year-olds. We had a comic with the adventures of Monsieur Furet (Ferret), the investigative reporter, and a baby that said 'glou glou' - we were extremely taken with the latter and went around saying it at every opportunity. I had found my calling and was regularly hauled up to spout French, shrilly and complete with exaggerated gestures, to visiting county councillors and educationists.

3) For three months one Summer, I worked as an au pair for a family of decadent Italian aristocrats in Naples. Slave labour. The Duchessa and her daughters were huge and drooled and had food stains on their massive bosoms. The sons and husbands were handsome and idle and had mistresses. The baby was just a baby, poor child.

4) Working with politicians for many years, I grew very cynical about their lack of principles and enormous egos. Well, I said I was, but I have a photo somewhere of me shaking hands with Felipe Gonzalez, c 1986 or 7, in which I have an embarrassing curly perm and an even more embarrassing expression which can only be described as simpering with pleasure (No, I can't find it, and even if I could).

5) I had a Turkish boyfriend once. He was meant to be getting a Masters in textile engineering at Leeds University to work in the family business, but was actually writing novels and kept failing his exams and staying on. He was from the far East of the country, with high cheek bones and very dark eyes and untidy hair like matted blue-black silk. He endlessly smoked and drank very strong coffee and fancied himself as a great, suffering romantic. I never knew a more sweet and gentle man, or one more guilt-ridden about being male and affluent middle-class, and about his country. Guilt is pretty tedious, and I didn't really understand it until years later when I'd read more, seen some films, and finally visited Turkey. I've been remembering him in these past days, with the news of Hrant Dink's murder in Istanbul, which Beth and Elizabeth have blogged movingly about; wondering what became of him and what he thinks about all this.

I'm passing this to Udge, MB, Marja-Leena, Tamar and Jude - if you feel inclined.

Comments

[Tjilpi]

Jean - I thought I'd better let you know that the link to Jude is the same as the link to Tamar.

[Dave]

The Duchessa and her daughters were huge and drooled and had food stains on their massive bosoms. The sons and husbands were handsome and idle and had mistresses. The baby was just a baby, poor child.
A compelling sketch!

[Richard Lawrence Cohen]

You've had some pretty exotic experiences!

[Teju]

Your wonderful, and unpredictable, vignettes are a pleasure to read, Jean. You've lived!

But what I love best is the image above. I'm moved by it, grateful for it, and entirely unsurprised by it. It's an amazing photo, so human and so sad.

(Is it the British Museum?)

[Jean]

Tjilpi, thanks, I'm correcting that! Nice to know you're still reading, though I'm afraid I'm still not writing comedy (unless the Duchessa counts).

Teju, yeah, I was waiting for an opportunity to post that photo. It's manipulated, of course - the figures weren't quite silhouettes, though close to. And yes it is the British Museum - clever you.

[Pica]

Jean, this is wonderful! Especially your decadent Italian aristocrats.

I was tagged by this meme a while ago and didn't get to it, but the responses by others have been fascinating. I might do it yet.

[tamarika]

Thanks for the tag and this post, Jean. Once again you have inspired me! Yes indeed, you are my inspiration!

[Natalie]

Yes the photo is fantastic and your 5 things revealing, in a quirky, engaging way. I'd *love* to see the curly-perm photo. The Italian aristocrat women instantly made me think of a certain illustration (maybe from Cinderella?) but I can't remember the artist.

[udge]

"I drive on about myself"

Oh, really, come now dear J. You couldn't drivel if your life depended on it :-) Loved the Italians.

[Zhoen]

Yellow signet ring, do you still have it?

I only had a plain pebble up my nose. My brother got me to snort it out in the ER.

[Jean]

Zhoen, you would focus on that. No!

[Jean]

Natalie, I might show *you* the photo. But I ain't putting it on the internet... noooo.

[udge]

BTW thanks for the tag! I did this one in December but will have another go at it very soon. Right now, I'm too tired & time at home is very short.

[MB]

Soon.

[Rachel Fox]

Arrived via Dave King. What a great selection of stories. I was an aupair too (in Austria..mid 1980s)...not nearly such a good story from it though!
Cheers.

[Rachel Fox]

Arrived via Dave King. What a great selection of stories. I was an aupair too (in Austria..mid 1980s)...not nearly such a good story from it though!
Cheers.

[Rachel Fox]

Arrived via Dave King. What a great selection of stories. I was an aupair too (in Austria..mid 1980s)...not nearly such a good story from it though!
Cheers.

[Rachel Fox]

Arrived via Dave King. What a great selection of stories. I was an aupair too (in Austria..mid 1980s)...not nearly such a good story from it though!
Cheers.

[Rachel Fox]

Arrived via Dave King. What a great selection of stories. I was an aupair too (in Austria..mid 1980s)...not nearly such a good story from it though!
Cheers.

[Rachel Fox]

How did that happen? You might want to delete one or two of those!